I have a popular saying that I say to a lot of my private clients….
2 out of 3 marriages end in divorce and the most common reason that women give is this:
“He just didn’t pay attention to me anymore”
Chances are, your ex left because you stopped paying attention to them.
You stopped pursuing them!
You stopped doing the things you did to “get” them in the first place
You thought that once you “caught them” – they were yours forever
And they WOULD be…
(IF you continued to treat them right!)
The problem is that many of us don’t
Throughout the course of our relationship, we begin to take our partner for granted
I’ve had several relationship die for this VERY reason.
It happened in my first relationship (how the hell was I supposed to know?)
And it happened in my second one too (dough!)
Fortunately, I learned my lesson after that one and haven’t encountered any problems with it since.
But it took all those relationships dying for me to know how to truly cherish my partner and her feel special.
Now, my relationships may still end for other reasons… different values, incompatability, etc
But certainly not because I take my partner for granted
Learned that lesson the hard way
I hope you learn it too
PS: I know this sounds really simple. Almost too simple. But it’s at the CORE of why so many couples break up.
They simply stopped investing the energy into the relationship and making their partner feel values and cared for
Think of it like fishing…
When you put bait on the line and you dangle it in front of a fish, they chase it, and they’re full of energy.
However, the second you “catch” the fish and put it in the bucket
It starts flapping around…
It plays dead…
Or it flat out dies!
Same thing happens in relationships.
So don’t let your relationship die due to your own negligence!
Look, I know it’s easy to take your partner for granted…
It’s easy to assume that they’ll always just be there for us…
But you have to remember that they’re people too!
They have their own needs that they want to get met
However, we tend to forget this and we just set the relationship on “autopilot”
After a while, we start to feel like:
“okay, I got this part of my life under control… now it’s time to go out there and focus on the other areas of my life”
If that’s what happened, then I’m sure you’re in for a rude awakening right now…
See, the problem is that we get TOO comfortable and we begin to totally neglect our partner.
It’s a fine line to walk
A relationship is not a car
You can’t put it on cruise control and assume that it will run on its own
You have to nurture it just like you would nurture anything else
Doing the bare minimum and hoping it will coast in “maintenance mode” while you focus on other things is going to lead to BIG problems in the future.
Pent up anger and resentment, etc.
I know it’s probably too late for you to be reading this now, but hey, better late than never
Take it in stride and don’t let this happen in your next relationship!
Best luck in love and life
Kevin